A New Perspective on Self Care for a Homeschooling Mama

A wonderful thought was expressed by a homeschooling friend who said that once we have children, we need to be more intentional about caring for ourselves. I heard this message on the morning after a particularly rough homeschooling day. A day that indicated that my self-care jar was empty. I really needed to hear this message at this precise moment in time and I needed to sit with it for a while…

What do I do for self care? I mean, my “work” is my life. I don’t get a lot of free time to be by myself.

Nothing earth-shattering came immediately to mind other than the usual things, such as:

  • painting my nails, doing makeup, putting on jewelry and anything else that makes me feel pretty
  • listening to music
  • playing my mandolin
  • cooking (I am really enjoying finding new recipes and feel really proud when it turns out well!)
  • cleaning and organizing an area of the house (this ALWAYS helps clear my mental space as well!)
  • going shopping
  • reading
  • having a cup of tea

Sitting reading Morning Girl with my daughter on the couch one morning, I had an a-ha moment. I was so enjoying being immersed in the book with her, going on this wonderful journey together in our hearts and minds. THIS felt like self care. My soul was being soothed in a way that could never happen while doing anything else. Sure, I could paint my nails, take a bath, read a book by myself, go shopping. There is a time and a place for those things. But this kind of connection is good for my soul. I love to read, but I love to read more when I can share the experience with others, especially snuggled up close together feeling warm bodies pressed against me as I read. I started to really pay attention and notice the connection during our family read-aloud time in the evening as well. In the moment, I realize that there is no place I would rather be, nothing I would rather be doing.

So I started to generate another list because I realized that self care CAN include others. As a matter of fact, including others in your acts of self care invites connection. Connection can be good for the soul. It is a daily requirement for mine. And not just any togetherness will do. Just being in a room with others may not be enough. The connection I am referring to involves depth. Sometimes it is intentional, but sometimes it is not. We must experience something together, share something just between us.

So here is my list of self-care activities that involve my children:

  • Music. Since I NEED music in my life, regularly, why not share my passion with my children? In my white minivan, you will often see us mouthing lyrics and bouncing around as we enjoy a variety of musical genres, like 80’s, New Wave, Country, Classical, Irish, Turkish, Italian, and much more…We are also known to put on some tunes in my living room and have an impromptu dance party. This almost always leads to a game of Just Dance on the Wii!
  • Art. I love looking at it, talking about it, and I used to love creating it. My husband is the artist in the family. So, we appreciate and create art together now. I get to express my creativity and the kids are finding their creative outlets at the same time. It’s a win-win!
  • Food. I love to eat. All kinds of food. When they are interested, I let my kids join me in the kitchen, donning their aprons and chef hats. This makes my heart really happy…Foods that we make together are especially good for the soul.
  • Reading. Reading is probably my favorite solitary self-care activity. In almost two years of homeschooling, I have read so many enjoyable books with my children, but I haven’t had as much time to read personal selections. It took me almost a whole year to read Anna Karenina (but it was worth every delicious stolen moment away!). I love our times together spent reading. I love the shared experience. I love the delicious conversations that we have about the books we share.
  • Nature. Being in nature is soothing. Being in nature with my children is wondrous. I get to see the world through the eyes of a child, and what better vantage point is there? Watching my children frolic and wonder in nature is probably the most soul-healing activity there is.

Self care, for me, is anything that replenishes the soul. Sometimes I need space to clear my head. But sometimes I need connection. A deep connection with another. When I stop, pay attention, and relish the moment, I often find that soul-healing connection is sitting right beside me when I need it most…

Our Homeschool in One Word: Free!

One morning, the kids and I were driving in the car and I asked them a question: If you could pick one word to describe our homeschool, what would it be?

My eight-year-old daughter immediately screamed, “Awesome!” I asked her what specifically was “awesome” about our homeschool and without hesitation she responded, “There are no bullies! We get more than 15 minutes to eat lunch! I get to read whatever I want!”

My six-year-old son had a different opinion. To him, our homeschool means “Math and Moving Beyond the Page.” I understand that his thinking is more concrete, but I also think that to him, school is just those two things. He doesn’t realize that playing with blocks, dressing up, climbing trees, reading on the couch, going to the trampoline park, playing games and all of the other fun things we do regularly count as “school” for us.

My three-year-old wanted in on the action and chimed in with “Fun!” I can understand that. We were, after all, on our way to a trampoline park to bounce for an hour and a half as our PE class…

We generated some more words and talked about all of the reasons why we love our homeschool. We decided that we needed a broader word, one that encompassed everything that we were discussing and feeling. And then it hit me…

Free.

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That’s it. Free. I blurted it out. “We are free!” The kids started cheering. Pretty soon, we looked like Mel Gibson in Braveheart , pumping our fists and shouting, “Freedom!”

We are free from the rat race. Free from being bound by an oppressive schedule. Free from grades and rigid evaluations. Free from having to rush to meet the bus. Free from having to say goodbye to each other every day as we parted.  Free from listening to someone else about what is best for our children.

 

 

On the flip side, I would ratherIMG_20150515_104541795 focus on what we are free to move TOWARD. We are free to travel, sleep in, go to bed late, stay in our pjs all day, explore curricula and methods, go on impromptu field trips and adventures. We are free to be together all day, every day. We are free to visit grandparents weekly. We are free to be ourselves. We are free to decide what we are doing and when, why, how, and with whom we are doing it. We are free to decide what works and is best for our family. It is so liberating. And challenging.

Sometimes that level of responsibility can be exhilarating, sometimes very stressful. But we are free…

 

Worldschooling on a Budget

FIELDSCHOOL

Our family loves to travel. We love to feast our eyes on new landscapes, taste new foods, and immerse ourselves in different experiences.

I got bitten by the travel bug when I was too young to remember. Fortunately for me, I had parents that were willing to indulge my passion and they made it possible for me to have many travel opportunities. I did three exchange programs, two to France and one to Italy, starting in the 8th grade. I took a semester off from college and set off on a two month jaunt through Europe, with no itinerary.

Those trips shaped my life in immeasurable ways. My husband and I decided that we want the same for our children. We want them to have a broader, more worldly perspective on life. But, we are a single-income family. We cannot simply indulge our every single travel whim!

My husband was born in Turkey and came to live in the United States when he was 11 years old. He remembers his traveling adventures around Turkey very fondly. He also has a very unique World view because of his experiences, one that he is eager to share with me and our children.

We have had some great successes with traveling on a small budget so far, like two weeks at Disney with a 10-day park pass for under $4k, a week at Williamsburg / Busch Gardens for under $700, two weeks in a beautifully appointed townhome on Hilton Head Island, SC for the price of one week, and we are planning a 5-week trip to Ireland / Scotland / Wales for under $7K. I will blog about each of these trips, and others, in the near future. I wanted to share our general travel tips here:

  1. You have to be flexible. Let me write that again. YOU HAVE TO BE FLEXIBLE. That means that you may not get to go to the exact destination of your dreams on the exact dates that work best for you for the exact price that you want to pay. You may have to be willing to drive or travel to another airport as well. One of our favorite things about homeschooling is that we have travel flexibility. We have saved a ton of money by traveling during the off season. So, there are three main areas to consider: your budget, your destination, and your dates. Start planning by choosing one area in which you are the least flexible. Then start your research. But you must then be more flexible in the other two areas.
  2. Avoid staying in hotels, if you can. Even when you get a good deal, they can be pricey.  There are sites where you can rent time shares from agencies or owners. We have done that in Orlando and Williamsburg. Because my husband works for the government, he has access to timeshare rentals around the World. But you can rent timeshares as well on sites such as timeshare-resale-rental.com, tug2.com and redweek.com. We have also had great experiences with Trip Advisor and VRBO for house/condo rentals (we have traveled to Hilton Head Island, SC and Martha’s Vineyard by renting vacation homes from owners). Some of the perks of staying in a house or condo is that you get a fully-appointed kitchen and, in most cases, a washer and dryer. This is so immensely helpful for families, especially on extended trips. Imagine how you can save on packing space if you have a washer and dryer! For the times when you are only going to be at a destination for a night or two and you must stay in a hotel, compare prices on places like kayak.com to make sure you are getting the best deal.
  3. Eat in at least once per day. I can tell you that we have saved a mint by at least eating breakfast in our rental place. It also helps to prepare lunches for the day and take them along if you can. We saved hundreds of dollars by doing this at Disney World. This is also where having a condo or house helps. Having a fully-appointed kitchen is a luxury that saves a ton of money.
  4. Plan ahead, especially for international travel. We started planning our trip to Ireland about a year ahead of time. This allowed us to spend some time tracking prices of things like flights. Airfare is often the biggest expense, especially for large families. My husband studied flight prices over the past year and was able to determine the time of year that flights were cheaper for certain destinations. His favorite sites for doing this are Google Flights and Kayak. A first look at Google flights shows DC to Paris at over $4,000 for 2 adults and 3 kids. This is a nice overview since we can see prices with just one click for any city. It is slow to load the prices but eventually, if you leave the map up, it will load the prices for all the places on the map.
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    We change to graph view and see that flights are $2,000 cheaper if we fly 11 days later. Click on that date and it will move your trip forward that many days.
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    If you go back to map view London is now also a lot cheaper. We saved almost $2,000 just by moving forward 11 days. One problem with this is that monthly housing is usually rented from the start to end of the month. But, you can take that $2k and make other plans with it. We have found that owners are usually pretty flexible and will work with you.
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  5. But be ready to jump when the deal is hot! This is another area in which you must be flexible. If you want to see the World, especially on a budget, sometimes you have to be ready to grab an opportunity. For example, during a Periscope presentation my husband found a direct flight to London from Washington, D.C. for $2,200.00 for a family of five! That is a phenomenal deal and if London is a place that you dream about going to, that’s a deal you may want to jump on. We happened to pick Ireland in this manner. We stumbled upon our cottage and the price made us take the plunge. The owner was flexible on dates since we were booking so far in advance so we had the time to watch flight prices.

All of these tips go hand in hand and compliment each other in many ways. They have helped us save incredible amounts of money and take trips, even long ones, that we would otherwise not be able to afford. So, we wanted to share our tips with everyone in the hopes that we can get the word out that, with a little time, effort, and the right resources, Worldschooling is within reach!

 

The Monster Cafe is Open for Business!

One of our favorite annual activities during the Halloween season is opening up our “Monster Cafe.” I originally got the idea last year from the book Games for Writing by Peggy Kaye. This is a wonderful resource chock full of creative ideas to prompt and improve writing skills, both mechanical and creative. It really is an invaluable tool for teaching kids to write and enjoy writing!

The kids and I convened at the kitchen table, pens and paper in hand, ready to brainstorm. You see, monsters like really icky, slimy, gory, and gross things. Ordinary food and drink just won’t do.

On to our planning…

The first order of the day was to come up with menu items. Such things as Grilled Scream Cheese Sandwiches and Hack-A-Roni and Fleas ended up on our menu! The grosser and more morbid, the better! Ghoulish, yes?

Next, came the design and creation of the menu. The kids picked out colored construction paper and used oil pastels to decorate the menu. DD copied menu items from our master list onto the construction paper. DS1 wanted a little help with his writing, but he illustrated his pages very well – lots of monsters and scariness! DS2 had a great time drawing monsters!

Here is our finished product. Next order of business, opening up and waiting for the monsters to arrive!

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Halloween Tea Party!

Halloween is not just another holiday at our house. It is cause for an ongoing celebration! We decided to kick off our festivities with a Halloween Poetry Tea Time, full of all the usual trappings of the holiday – costumes, treats, decorations, pumpkin spiced tea, stories and poems.

Poetry TIMG_20151012_113850131_HDRea Time is regular event in our home. The kids just love preparing delicious treats and racing to the bookshelf to choose their favorite poetry books. Today will be a little different. A little. We will be sipping, listening, and taking turns reading as witches, sorcerers, and fearless space rangers . We will read from spooky Halloween poetry books. We will revel in this enchanted, magical, place for a while…

 

 

 

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Oh, and we have invited some more guests to join us today…

 

 

 

 

What a wonderful time we had together, my Emerald Witch, Harry Potter, and Buzz Lightyear! I can only hope that these are the times that my children remember fondly when they look back at their childhoods and reminisce…

 

Here are the poetry books we read from:

(The images contain links to Amazon.com. Should you decide to purchase any of the books, Thankfully Home will receive a small commission. This will not cost you anything at all! It helps us buy books for our family, so thank you!)

 

 

 

Welcoming Fall

Now that Fall is officially here and the cooler weather has set in (for most of us 🙂 ), there is a slew of fun things to do that help welcome and appreciate the beauty that fall brings. Here are some of the things we like to do or are planning to do this year:

BakeIMG_20150921_102939450! There is absolutely no better time to bake than Fall! Apples are aplenty and there are so many things you can do with pumpkin! Who knew? Some of our favorite recipes are for pumpkin pie, apple pie, baked apples, apple sauce, pumpkin bread, apple pancakes, baked pumpkin seeds, oh there are so many! We will also be enjoying our “Apples Everywhere” cooking kit from Raddish Kids.

 

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Go on a nature hike! The cooler weather and changing leaves make for a very enjoyable time to get out and and explore Mother Nature! Collect leaves. Try to see how many colors and shapes you can find. Try to find out what kind of tree they came from. Make a leaf collage when you get home! Collect pine cones to paint and, if you have planned ahead, try some leaf and bark rubbings to save for your nature journals!

 

Create FIMG_20151018_170757317all-inspired artwork! Here are some great places to find inspiration –

Do something creative with your leaf and bark rubbings. Maybe make a collage!

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Read together! The local library always has a nice display in the children’s section of wonderful books about fall. Select a few and snuggle up! I think we currently have every single book out about Fall and Halloween that our local library has 😉 ). And in case you haven’t seen it, here’s our list of favorite Halloween books. Have a tea party! Get out your tea set, brew your favorite tea, bake a treat, and sit and read stories and poems about fall. Everyone will love it!

 

Go appleIMG_20150920_115148424[1] picking! Visit a local farm and pick your own apples! Often, these farms will have other activities like hayrides, corn mazes, petting zoos, crafts and other fun things to do while you are there. Be on the lookout for any local festivals as well! When you are finished, bring your apples home and bake!

 

 

Name That Color!

My daughter received this as a birthday gift over the summer and it made for a really wonderful rainy day activity. *

It’s a marker maker that includes everything you need to create 16 custom-colored markers! You get red, yellow, and blue dyes and a color chart that shows you how to create a huge selection of colors from the three primary color dyes.

So, for us this started out as a little lesson in color. It was so much fun for the kids to look at the color chart, pick a color, decide how many drops of each primary color to add, and watch the color develop! This was so much fun in and of itself, but my kids took this to a whole new level when they decided to name the colors. You see, the kit provides you with two boxes and labels for each marker. They set out to describe each color and we ended up with names like moss, blueberry, swamp, sunset, Jack-O-Lantern, tangerine,  and rainforest. Isn’t that so much more fun than green, orange, red, blue, brown?

IMG_20151014_122623227Imagine what it does for their imaginations! It creates such a vivid, elaborate, beautiful space from which they perceive and interact with the world. Plus, it’s just so much fun! Don’t you love it when little every-day activities naturally turn themselves into huge opportunities for learning?

I sure do…

 

*This post contains a link to Amazon.com. If you should choose to purchase this item, Thankfully Home will receive a small commission. It will not cost you anything! It helps us buy books and supplies for our family, so thank you!

Kitchen Fun

We are always looking for ways to add “flavor” and excitement to our daily lives, and what better way than in the kitchen! I have recently discovered my own love for creating wonderful meals. Who has time to cook from scratch when there are babies in the house? Certainly not me! Now my kids are at ages where I can not only find time to cook, but they want to be involved in the process!

We recently purchased a subscription to Raddish Kids. We get a monthly delivery of recipes, complete with a skill card, skill patch to iron on our aprons, a shopping list, and special supplies based on a monthly theme. You can also download Homeschool Lesson Plans to go along with the kit to make a whole unit study out of your kit! Our first box is Make-Believe Meals and our first recipe is for Superhero Scrambles.

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Unfortunately, my boys are feeling under the weather today so my DD decided to dive in alone.

The recipe cards are illustrated so that even early readers can help out. So, we gathered all of our ingredients and she began to prep.

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And assemble.

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And put finishing touches…

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And the waiting begins…

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After 20 minutes, this is what DD created all on her own!

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They are a hit with everyone!

As soon as the boys are feeling better, we will begin our Superhero Training Program (included in the Homeschool Lesson Plan)!

I would say that after trying our first recipe, Raddish is a hit! What I love about it is that it takes something as seemingly simple as preparing a meal and turns it into a wonderful opportunity to learn – about not just cooking and food prep but culture, nutrition, and science. Plus, it’s just so fun being together creating something!

 

 

Spontaneous Gym Class

This is my favorite thing about homeschooling – FREEDOM. The freedom to pick up and go wherever, whenever, to have an adventure is something that I am so thankful for. The freedom to count everything as an opportunity to experience, to learn. This was our Gym class today.

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Doesn’t this look fun? It was a birthday party for a dear friend! Can you believe it counts as a Gym class? I know my kids would so much rather be doing this than picking teams for a dodge ball game in school (if that’s what they even do in Gym class anymore. I am probably dating myself!).

 

 

 

 

So, go have some fun with your kids today! Jump! Run! Bounce! Roll down a hill! Jump in a pile of leaves! It’s so much fun and it ALL counts!